Clean Break
by Autumn Cullen
Summary: I was dreading this, I didn’t want to leave her, oh god did I not want to leave her. I had to do this quick, before I lost my mind... One shot. Edward's point of view on leaving Bella. Read and review. Enjoy :D
1. It Will Heal More Easily, More Quickly

_This is what I think ran through Edward's mind when he went to leave Bella. Of course I dont own this book or anything about Twilight...If I did Edward wouldn't have left xP Um so I hope you enjoy Edwards Point of view on this. It was fun working with Edward instead of Desiree and Aiden. Review! Enjoy :D_

I didn't go to her house last night; I had to think of what I would do. It was obviously certain that we couldn't be around her anymore, we were too dangerous. Her birthday was proof enough that we were a danger to her life. Jasper almost killed her, _I_ could have killed her… there was so much of _her_ blood everywhere. Oh god I was so close to just… I wouldn't let myself think of it.

So here I stand with he at her car door with my decision, we were leaving. Everyone was already gone, no one saying goodbye but me, Alice wasn't okay with that. She thought it was an idiotic idea, a waste of time but I knew what was best for Bella, and that was me not being in her life. Me not being here to put her life in danger, that's what's best. The memories of her broken body lying on the shards of broken mirrors flashed through my head and my fist clenched, that was my entire fault. If she wasn't with me, that vile creature would have never laid hands on her. It was reasons like these that I had to leave. Then other memories flooded my mind. Memories such as last winter, when Tyler had almost crushed her with his car, I winced at the memory. With out me, she would have died right there in my sight, in everyone's sight. Her delicate warm body crushed between the mangled metal of the two cars, her blood spilled over the black top, my sanity… broken. I shook my head vigorously attempting to shake the thought from my head, I couldn't think of things such as that. I had to do this.

The trip to the post office was quicker than I expected... and it left me with time to think which right now… was not so great. I had to make this a clean break, I would tell her I didn't love her, what a lie that would be, and hopefully she would believe me my sinister lie. Knowing Bella she wouldn't believe me, I mean she would remember all of the times I said I loved her and that I needed her… Crap. She would remember. She wouldn't believe me; I would just have to leave if she didn't. She would hate me so much… I winced.

Hate me.

That's exactly what she would do… I don't think that I could take that burden… Maybe I should stay… No! I had to do this, and with that I darted out of my Volvo and into her room.

Clean break.

_It will heal more easily, more quickly._

It would be less painful for her if she had nothing to remind her of me. I had to make this as painless as possible. It cut me deeply to see all of the things she had of me. I had to take every picture, the plane tickets, _my CD_, and later… I would need to take her stereo. Quickly, quickly I kept telling myself. I looked at the pile I had gathered in my hands and sighed. I would be a horrible being if I just took it away from her, and I wanted at least a part of me to be with her, so I lifted her floor board with ease and placed her 'Memorabilia O' Cullen' inside of it. The Volvo eagerly awaited me to return so I sat inside of it waiting for Bella's arrival.

I was dreading this, I didn't want to leave her, oh god did I not want to leave her. I had to do this quick, before I lost my mind. I saw her red truck pull into the driveway and I gracefully stepped out of my car and met her. She was watching me, examining my every move. I could see it in her eyes… she was worried. I took her backpack from her and placed it back in the seat, she wouldn't want to go into her house yet. I asked her for a walk, I waited for no answer and she walked with me. Look at me, I'm a monster! I could kill Bella right now; I could turn her into a monster like myself with ease. I don't deserve such a lovely creature such as Bella, she's beautiful, warm, breath taking, and formally all mine. What am I?! I'm cold, repulsive to myself; deceiving, a monster, and I don't deserve her. I stopped our walk so she could still see her house; I didn't want her getting lost. She broke the silence between us first. And I inhaled a bitter set of lies.

"Bella, we're leaving." I said truthfully, making my face as still as stone and my voice lifeless. I was expecting for an angry or sad tone but instead I got…

"Why now? Another year-" She didn't understand. I would have to make her.

"Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barley pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless." My answer held coldness to it, and I watched in devastation as recognition fell upon her figure.

"When you say _we_-" She almost choked out.

I was hard to make my voice audible then. It was hard to breathe, but to keep my face and voice in composure I had to make every word separate. "I mean my family and myself."

She shook her head slowly, as if she was trying to grasp it, trying to forget that what I had just said. It was heart breaking. Then she spoke up and offered to come with us, as hard as that was for me I had to decline that glorious idea. She was persistent, she brought up the party, she brought up my promise, and she brought up her soul… that was the hardest. _'You can have my soul. I don't want it without you- it's yours already!'_ Those words rang in my head. How could she say that?! I have her soul… that's always what I wanted to hear, her soul… mine. My love, forever mine…No! This was bad, I couldn't second guess myself now, I had gotten so far. I had to end this now, before I put Bella's life into more danger. I made my face even more like stone as I sucked in silent breath to tell the biggest lie of my existence.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." My un-beating heart then broke when I saw her face. She was trying to recover from it… she was starting to believe me.

"You…don't…want me?" She asked devastation distinct in her voice.

Of course I want you! How can you believe me?! Stop it right now! Stop believing my lies. I hate that you don't think I want you. I love you Isabella Swan! I've told you this a million times before think! I wanted to scream, but instead I said…

"No." I hated myself. I said that with no remorse in my face at all. No, no emotion could reach my face. I wouldn't allow it. All of the emotions were crashing at my core beating against me in such rhythm that I felt as if my heart was being ripped to pieces…

She sounded so calm compared to what her face and body were saying to me. They cried for my touch and my body ached to seize there cries but my mind forbade it. I had to look off into the trees to say what I was about to say, her face would have broken me. I said it still looking into the trees for I knew she was at her limit. She then pleaded, and I was so eager to obey, but I would not. I was on the verge of picking her up in my arms and trying to make her forget my idiocy, that verge was too close for comfort. It was time for the final blow.

"You're not good for me Bella." I lied. She was perfect for me. It was I who was not for her. She deserved someone better, someone that wasn't a constant risk to her.

"If… that's what you want."

I couldn't speak. I knew my words would fail me if I tried to answer her so I just nodded like a coward. I took a good look at her, she was over her limit. She looked sick, tired, depressed. It sent a shock of fear through me as I asked for one last favor. What if this sent her into a spiraling depression and she ended up killing herself. Thoughts of Bella's possible suicides ran through my head and I panicked. I let my features fall for a second and I could feel the torture on my face and composed it quickly. No emotion.

"Anything." She vowed to me. That's when I broke my wall of emotion and detachment and I really looked at her.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid. Do you understand what I'm saying?" I ordered her. She nodded and I regained my distance. "I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of your self- for him." I said trying to make it sound like I didn't ask her to promise me for my own sanity. Even though it was, everything I was doing was all for her safety, I loved her too much. Then I made her a promised after she promised me. A promise I was sure to keep. She would never see me again. With that I saw her start to fall apart in front of my eyes, it was horrifying to watch.

"Don't worry. You're human-your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind." I said to make myself feel better for the crumbling beauty ahead of me. She asked me about my memories and god knows that I will never heal but I lied yet again to harden the blow. She needed to hate me; as much as I didn't want that horrible fate, I was starting to see that this was the only way to keep her safe... she needed to hate me.

"That's everything, I suppose. We won't be bothering you again." I said finishing. She realized my 'we' comment and questioned it. I told her that they were gone and I was the only one left, and that was to say goodbye to her. She wobbled then, she was done. Over. I could see it in her face and in her body. She had believed this so much more easily than I thought was possible... it was terrible. I had to leave before I gave in.

"Goodbye Bella."

"Wait!" She choked. I took her reaching hands and pinned them to her sides and I savored my last kiss I would ever give her and placed my lips to her beautiful forehead. It was getting unbearable. I needed to get out. "Take care of yourself." And I was gone.

Back to the moonless night,

My meteor,

My warmth,

Gone.

There are no stars anymore… they were blinking out of focus.

"Goodbye Bella," I repeated in my run. "I love you."

_Love, life, meaning…over._


	2. A Thanks To You All

_I would love to thank Edward for letting me inside his head and being able to write this from his point of view : It was hard because at first I was unsure of Edwards view but help from my fellow fic pals, my fic turned out good, so thank you. I hope you all enjoyed my story, Thanks for reading._

_Autumn Cullen_


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